Customer Service HELLo!

May 15, 2013
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Would you like a blue flavored "Squishy?" It has lots of vitamins, sugar, and blue... I know how much you like the blue...

This post is proudly brought to you by the ABC’s of Swearing (hosted by @sleepybard from The Insomniac’s Dream). They’re on letter M, so I’m going to throw one of those in here and then continue to swear a lot to see if I can make up for some of my absence because I’ve been a…

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The itsy bitsy spider climbed up the…windshield?

May 8, 2013
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The itsy bitsy spider climbed up the…windshield?

What do you do when you feel like you’re stranded on a tiny desert island, standing on the beach writing “HELP!” with rocks and sticks, but you look up because you hear a noise that makes you hopeful that a plane is coming to rescue you, and instead you find that a tidal wave is…

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I have some things to take care of and I need your help…

May 3, 2013
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I have some things to take care of and I need your help…

Here’s the deal: I have a few awards that I acquired recently. Since I’m so good at procrastinating and apparently like to half-ass things at the last minute, I’m going to roll it all into one long “thing.” If I follow the rules from all of the awards, I’ll be posting 36 random facts about me, answering…

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Can I get a restraining order with my green eggs and ham?

April 30, 2013
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Can I get a restraining order with my green eggs and ham?

I read to our 4 year old (Stinkerbell) a lot. Books at nap time. Books at bedtime. Books throughout the day. Books when she wakes up in the middle of the night and just can’t go back to sleep. Here a book, there a book, everywhere you look — a book! We literally have hundreds…

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My mind has been blown and kids totally suck.

April 29, 2013
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My mind has been blown and kids totally suck.

I’m still a little bit speechless. Forgive me if this doesn’t make a whole lot of sense. I’m still processing. The Manchild was out visiting with a friend on Saturday night and was out late because (lucky him) he doesn’t work on Sundays. The Minion stayed the weekend at her friend’s house, and Legoman spent…

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Hello? Is this thing on?

April 25, 2013
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Hello? Is this thing on?

So, here’s something that you may/may not have assumed by now: I talk to myself. All. The. Time. Sometimes, I don’t even realize that I’m doing it. … Yeah. For real. Every now and then, I’ll be in the kitchen making dinner and someone in the living room will say, “What?” or “Did you say…

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Quick! Run, Snail! There’s an Umbrella Vulture With a Xylophone after You! And a Zombie!

April 23, 2013
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Quick! Run, Snail! There’s an Umbrella Vulture With a Xylophone after You! And a Zombie!

If you hadn’t guessed by the title here, I’m going to bend the rules on the rest of this A-Z Challenge a little bit, in that I’m going to finish mine up with a big cluster-fuck of a mess with the letters that I’ve missed and the ones that are coming up before it’s due because…

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Partially plastered

April 19, 2013
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Partially plastered

I’m not going to lie — I’m obviously falling behind on this A-Z thing right now. I just started a new job on Wednesday, and they have me working a mid-shift. I leave my house around 11:15am and don’t get back until around 7 or 8pm. AND I have Tuesday and Wednesday off. What brand…

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Okapi: The other other other white meat.

April 17, 2013
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Okapi: The other other other white meat.

I’ve had an amazing post sitting in my drafts folder for quite awhile now about being addicted to oatmeal, because I had the plague and misheard a commercial at 2:30am. It was about being addicted to opiates. I was really hoping to have all of the pictures done by now, because it would have made…

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Conversations with The Minion: Why I couldn’t be a ninja (according to her)

April 16, 2013
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Conversations with The Minion: Why I couldn’t be a ninja (according to her)

Alternately titled: Why my daughter should shut her yap when I’m imaginating. I was driving to the store with The Minion (my 12yr. old) a few days ago, when I saw a man on the sidewalk dressed in black from head to toe. Me: Did you see that guy? I wonder if he’s a ninja……

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